MY BIG FAT GREEK DEBACLE
Clash of the Titans
*1/2
Review by Paul Preston
My new least favorite perspective:
“Well, it was fun. You know, you turn your brain off and it’s a good popcorn movie.”
Since when is THAT enough? Did I miss some memo that went out in the last twenty years that gave permission to artists to be “less challenging”? You know why that isn’t said about “Avatar”? ‘Cause “Avatar” is ABOUT something. It has something to say about humanity, the environment, friendship, self-worth and peace. But it also has the most kick-ass special effects in the history of the movies. That combination will only get you the most popular movie of all time.
“Clash of the Titans” is about nothing. It’s about being bloated and noisy and wasting the talents of many a good actor.
“Titans” is this year’s period-action-movie-entry into the spring box office sweepstakes. Many moons ago, “300” made a ga-zillion dollars in the springtime, normally a wasteland for money-making movie adventures. Since then, “10,000 B.C,” and “Watchmen” have attempted to recapture that magic. But only “300” was attempting something really new: an arresting visual style coupled with overflowing machismo and faithful recreation of visuals from the graphic novel brought people out. “Watchmen” was so faithful to its heady source material, wide audiences couldn’t connect. “Clash of the Titans” falls more into the “10,000 B.C.” category, a film that incorrectly thinks bigger is better.
I’m sure you know “Clash” is based on a 1981 film starring Harry Hamlin and Laurence Olivier. It concerns Zeus’ son Perseus and his quest to save Greece from The Kraken. The real stars of that film, however, were the classic stop-motion animation creatures of Ray Harryhausen. And even with the tens of millions of dollars spent in special effects by the update, the visual result mostly doesn’t compare. One impressive sequence in the new film is the action scene with giant scorpions. They look pretty damn real and are as intimidating as they need to be.
In sharp contrast is the Medusa sequence, which in the original was really scary! Here, it’s just OVERDONE. It may seem unfair to compare the two movies, but the “Clash” original and the remake comparison reveals what’s wrong with the idea of remakes and sometimes what’s wrong with big-budget moviemaking today. Medusa’s lair, in the original, was small and dark with few places to hide. In the remake, with their misguided idea of BIG, BIG, BIG, Medusa’s lair is huge! There is fire everywhere, it’s bright and has a GIANT LAVA PIT at the bottom. It’s way, way, way too much. In keeping it simple, the original has made a creepier sequence. Even Medusa’s big weapon, turning someone to stone with her stare, was more effective with a simple look and those sinister eyes. Now, she rushes their face, and with rubbery-CGI-precision, screams, sprays venom, shoots lights out of her eyes. It’s all too much.
That can be said of the whole film. It’s even too much to rush the 3D conversion on this and the many films they plan to convert in the next year. I saw it in 2D, ‘cause I was told the 3D was a little hack. I was told that you could see the 2D image behind a lot of the 3D effects. The worst part is, this hack process has been rewarded with $145 million in domestic box office. Theaters LOVE 3D ‘cause it gets people to the cinema as opposed to renting or downloading your favorite movie. But if they continue to treat it as a fast-food commodity, the popularity will fade and fade quickly. Thank god “Iron Man 2” isn’t in 3D…
Sam Worthington is a solid lead for any movie, but he shows his least amount of depth yet. He looks good and trudges through the movie as a true battle hero, but there’s no vulnerability, nothing to relate to as an audience. He showed more emotion as a cyber-creation in “Terminator: Salvation”. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes chew scenery as the gods Zeus and Hades, respectively, but maybe this looked cool thirty years ago, but now I gotta admit it was kind of goofy to see these grown men traipsing around Mount Olympus in goofy costumes.
Looking pretty good in the end is Mads Mikkelson, the villain from “Casino Royale”, practically unrecognizable as Draco, in charge of training Worthington’s Perseus. But soon they’re both involved in a dopey sword fight. You know, the kind where Draco is teaching Perseus, but the two basically swing with lethal force at each other to where one of them could die if there’s the slightest misstep. These guys aren’t supposed to kill each other, but they could at any moment. It’s the kind of scene you only get in a moronic movie. And the Kraken, as oft-repeated as “Release the Kraken” will no-doubt be for years to come, isn’t very effective. He barely gets to cause any havoc before he meets his fate.
Director Louis Leterrier, who I thought improved on the original when Universal decided to reboot “The Incredible Hulk”, doesn’t have that luck here. In retrospect, I should’ve noticed that Leterrier decided to reboot a lame movie in “Hulk”, which had a shaky-looking CGI Hulk. Then he decided to “improve” that by adding another CGI-Hulk-ish creature in The Abomination. So, he thought more was better then, and continues to think in that vein.
He’s wrong.
Directed by: Louis Leterrier
Release Date: April 2, 2010
Run Time: 106 Minutes
Country: USA/UK
Rated: PG-13
Distributor: Warner Bros. Pictures
